Regrettably, the fantasy season is back. With the draft all wrapped up, the rosters seem to be set for what should be an entertaining first-week tilt. Below, we’ll be looking at each matchup and I’ll be predicting the (probably incorrect) winners.
Kelvton G Kelvtons vs. AI Can’t Deal With This
I genuinely do not know what Kelvin was going on about at the draft. Tee Higgens, Matthew Stafford, AJ Dillon, and Matt Gay as early-round selections is a nuts draft strategy that even our wildest of drafters would never attempt. While weird in spots, Kelvin’s team has a solid enough receiving core, even if his running backs are all washed or in questionable situations to varying degrees.
It is worth noting that Kelvin gets to be the first beneficiary of the AI’s weekly 30-point deductions. I’m not quite sure if ESPN has accounted for that in their projections because the AI is still favored to win 141.2 to 140.5 as of writing this (1:24 p.m. on Wednesday).
The AI’s team looks fine. It went overly heavy on the running backs and picked up its fair share of questionable players (looking at you, Jerry Jeudy). Cooper Kupp, the AI’s second-round selection, will be out of action this upcoming Sunday, I would expect Keenan Allen to slot into the starting receiver slot in his stead.
I really hate doing this, but I think I like AI over Kelvin in a game where Kelvin’s team underperforms, even with the 30-point deduction.
Huntersville Highwaymen vs. Andrewstan GatorTanks
Goddammit, I like Andrew’s team again. While he has finally been separated from Kelce (which maybe is better for him?) he’s picked up the likes of Josh Allen, Tyreek Hill, and Derrick Henry as his team’s centerpieces. Around it are a slew of talented receivers such as Calvin Ridley, Deebo Samuel, and Mark Andrews. While I’m less impressed by his stable of running backs, he undeniably has another strong team. There are only a few true question marks I see in Andrew’s team heading into Week 1:
- What is this mysterious injury that is plaguing Mark Andrews and when will he return from it?
Mark Andrews has been out for about two weeks, at this point, with an undisclosed injury. As of Monday, he was on track to return to practice on Wednesday (today) but as of now (1:32 p.m. on Wednesday) there has been no word that he is at practice.
Now that I think about it, I forgot what my other question was regarding Andrew’s team. Moving onto David’s dastardly team, I guess!
David secured himself an elite wideout in Stefon Diggs and a great dual-threat quarterback in Jalen Hurts. I quite enjoyed David’s strategy for the back half of the draft as he took a few stabs at a high-ceiling lottery pick in players like George Pickens and Tank Bigsby.
His team, when stacked up against Andrew’s, may not be as top-heavy but I do think there is value in his bench and lower-end starters.
Unfortunately, I don’t think his lotto picks and lower-end starters will play too big a factor in a Week 1 matchup, so I’m taking Andrew in a sweaty, close game.
Zilwaukee Zipliners vs. Super Banana Bombs
Aw hell yeah, Brother Bowl time. There’s a lot I can say about my own team, but to save us all some time I won’t. Instead, I’ll tell you about Chad’s team.
Justin Jefferson, Amron-Ra, and A.J. Brown combine to make one of the craziest wide receiver corps in our league at this moment. In order to create that corp, sacrifices had to be made on the running backs. The RB room is headed by Saquon Barkley, who is playing on a cheap one-year deal, and Dameon Pierce, the Texan’s sophomore running back in a shaky offense. The depth behind these two players is…not ideal but it is a very workable situation. Backs such as Perine and Williams may not be league winners but Rachaad White could very well backdoor himself into being a Top 15 running back. Finally, Justin Herbert, one of the later QBs taken (after Matthew Stafford actually) rounds out a very solid team.
Okay, time for me to ramble a bit. My foolish ass really thought drafting Travis Michael Kelce thinking I could escape the slippery slopes of tight-end hell. Unfortunately, Travis Kelce’s hyperextended knee (which would be a killer team name) had other plans. While, hopefully, Kelce’s path to recovery is a quick one, I’ll be relying on Bijan to carry the load for me. The Falcons seemingly have big plans for him, at least I hope. The rest of my team, save for Garrett Wilson, seems to have a limited upside.
This week’s game will probably go to the wire, but as tradition, I will take Chad.
Coddle CreeK Beavers vs. Bay Area Sourdough Boys
Aw hell yeah, Brother Bowl time. When I look at Ryan and Tyler’s teams, I see two teams not entirely too different from each other. Both seemed to focus on high-end running backs over wide receivers, albeit Tyler a little less so. Both took their quarterbacks relatively early. And…that’s about where the similarities end. Now that I’m thinking about it, that probably is more a product of them drafting back-to-back. Oh well.
Ryan is starting Jakobi Meyer this week, which I am not listing as a positive or a negative. Just a simple fact. Ryan’s eggs are mostly in the baskets of one Patrick Mahomes and another Christian McCaffrey. Beyond those two, I could see the week-to-week performances of his players being very up and down. Don’t get me wrong, I like his players. DeVonta Smith ended last season on a crazy run and Evan Engram actually looked good playing for Jacksonville. However, players such as Javonte Williams (coming off an injury) and James Cook (related to Dalvin) give me pause (although I’ll be the first to admit that Ryan probably knows stuff about James Cook that I don’t).
Tyler’s team is basically Ryan’s team except swap DeVonta for Davante and Christian McCaffrey for Austin Ekeler. I like the bottom half of Tyler’s roster just a tad bit more than Ryan’s, but for the most part, I think these two rosters are pretty darn close in terms of quality. I did notice that Tyler took way more lottery shots than most in the draft, taking guys like Alvin Kamara, De’Andre Swift, and Chigoziem Okonkwo (yes, I had to copy and paste that name.) in the later rounds.
I don’t know where I’m going with this. I am taking Tyler.
Week 1 Historical Stats
Kelvin
- Kelvin is 2-6 in Week 1 games since 2015
- Kelvin averages a 3.6 point differential and a 29 total point differential in Week 1 games since 2015 (His 102.5 point victory over Conner in 2021 is overriding a lot of his negative stats.)
- Kelvin averages 159.1 points for and 155.6 points allowed in Week 1 games since 2015
- This is Kelvin’s first matchup against AI
AI
- AI will make their league debut this week
Andrew
- Andrew is 4-4 in Week 1 games since 2015
- Andrew averages a -5.4 point differential and a -41 total point differential in Week 1 games since 2015
- Andrew averages 158.5 points for and 163.6 points allowed in Week 1 games since 2015
- Andrew has opened his season against David twice (2017, 2018) where he lost by 1 and won by 22.9 points, respectively
- Andrew is 14-9 against David all-time
David
- David is 6-2 in Week 1 games since 2015
- David averages an 11 point differential and an 88 total point differential in Week 1 games since 2015
- David averages 165.5 points for and 154.5 points allowed in Week 1 games since 2015
- David has opened his season against Andrew twice (2017, 2018) where he won by 1 and lost by 22.9 points, respectively.
- David is 9-14 against Andrew all-time
Brent
- Brent is 4-4 in Week 1 games since 2015
- Brent averages a -4.12 points differential and a -33 total point differential in Week 1 games since 2015
- Brent averages 163.5 points for and 167.6 points allowed in Week 1 games since 2015
- Brent has opened his season against Chad one other time (2020) where he lost by 56.9 points
- Brent is 1-6 against Chad all time
Chad
- Chad is 2-1 in Week 1 games since 2020
- Chad averages a 13.9 point differential and a 41.7 total point differential in Week 1 games since 2020
- Chad averages 197.4 points for and 185.5 points allowed in Week 1 games since 2020
- Chad has opened his season against Brent one other time (2020) where he won by 56.9 points
- Chad is 6-1 against Brent all time
Tyler
- Tyler is 4-2 in Week 1 games since 2017
- Tyler averages a 0.4 point differential and a 2.65 total point differential in Week 1 games since 2017
- Tyler averages 137.8 points for and 137.4 points allowed in Week 1 games since 2017
- Tyler has never opened his season against Ryan
- Tyler is 6-10 against Ryan all time
Ryan
- Ryan is 3-4 in Week 1 games since 2016
- Ryan averages a 0.85 point differential and a 5.95 total point differential in Week 1 games since 2016
- Ryan averages 165.1 points for and 164.3 points allowed in Week 1 games since 2017
- Ryan has never opened his season against Ryan
- Ryan is 10-6 against Ryan all time
