In a stunning display of sportsmanship and unparalleled dedication to the craft of fantasy football, local man and co-commissioner of the Maybe Next Year fantasy football league, Brent, astounded league members by unilaterally releasing the much-anticipated 2023 matchup schedule for just one of the league’s participants: David.
Brent, who, let’s be honest, had been struggling to come up with new and exciting ways to procrastinate his actual responsibilities, decided to take the bull by the horns. “I was staring at my ceiling one night,” he confessed, “and suddenly it hit me: David needs to know his matchups in advance. It’s a matter of life and death.”
David, the unsuspecting beneficiary of Brent’s heroic efforts, was reportedly moved to tears as he gazed at his meticulously calculated schedule. “I never thought I’d see the day when my matchups would be revealed to me before the season starts,” David exclaimed, wiping away a single tear, which was probably due to allergies and not his emotions.
The schedule, which included such groundbreaking information as David facing off against Tyler in Week 5 and the AI in Week 9, left the rest of the league members in awe of Brent’s sheer audacity and willingness to bypass the democratic process of schedule distribution.
David’s full schedule is below:
Week 1 – @ Andrew
Week 2 – vs Kelvin
Week 3 – @ AI
Week 4 – @ Ryan
Week 5 – vs Tyler
Week 6 – @ Chad
Week 7 – @ Brent
Week 8 – @ Kelvin
Week 9 – vs AI
Week 10 – vs Chad
Week 11 – vs Ryan
Week 12 – vs Andrew
Week 13 – @ Tyler
Week 14 – vs Brent
