With one week in the books, the rankings have already tossed and turned more than a night in bed with my wife. HEYO! Let’s skip the malarkey and get right into the rankings
#1 Matt Rhule’s Clown School (1-0), FPV: 3, LW: 2 (+1)
There were a few Chad-believers before Week 1. Anyone who didn’t believe before should believe now. Despite almost not winning, Chad put up 190+ points in Week 1 behind his rock-solid core of Josh Allen, Davante Adams, and Michael Pittman. If his first round pick, Christian McCaffrey, can kick it into gear or get a coach that doesn’t have worms for brains, he’s really gonna be with it. This week, Chad gets to play Conner in a matchup between two undefeated teams.
#2 James’s Jets (1-0), FPV: 1, LW: 1 (-1)
Andrew drops a spot this week but it’s got nothing to do with him. Andy beat the team in front of him and scored a lot while doing it. Like Chad, he has a solid core consisting of Jonathan Taylor, Stefon Diggs, and Travis Kelce. There’s an interesting matchup brewing this week as Andrew gets to take on the ascending (but winless) Kelvin.
#3 Capital K. Rillerz (0-1), FPV: 0, LW: 7 (+4)
A hefty ascension for a man who lost in Week 1, but the love is not undeserved. There’s something to be said about putting up 190 points Week 1. Sure, we’ve seen early season Kelvin pop off before, but this could be different? Why could it be different? Uh-I-uh, um. It just could. Kelvin, unfortunately, is a victim to a brutal opening schedule as he takes on #2 Andrew this week in what should assuredly be the Game of the Week.
#4 San Francisco Foghorns (1-0), FPV: 0, LW: 5 (+1)
Tyler’s week wasn’t always pretty, but eventually Javonte Williams helped him finally pull away from David on Monday Night Football. The Foghorns are a solid squad and they’ll take on the #7 Concord Fire 3 this week in the first Brother Bowl of the 2022 season.
#5 Marion Mystery Remotes (0-1), FPV: 0, LW: 4 (-1)
Tyler and I do the ol’ swaparoo on the rankings this week. There are holes in this roster no doubt and there are injuries but…I can’t think of a way to positively spin this. I’m just glad I’m not last lol. The Mystery Remotes will take on #6 Agloe Placeholders this week for a chance to move up the rankings a bit.
#6 Agloe Placeholders (0-1), FPV: 0, LW: 6 (0)
David’s matchup against Tyler was close all the way up to the Monday Night game. DK Metcalf had to simply outscore Javonte Williams by about 2 points. That did not happen, unfortunately, and David’s season starts off on a sour note. He’ll have a chance to remedy things this week against a hurting #5 Brent.
#7 Concord Fire 3 (0-1), FPV: 0, LW: 3 (-4)
Ryan put up a league-low 135 points in Week 1 and his ranking now reflects this. While his starters disappointed, his bench has some value and I think all are expecting some rotation in his roster in the coming weeks. Ryan will get a chance to show up his brother in Week 2 to get things back on track.
#8 Conner’s Citi Boyz (1-0), FPV: 0, LW: 8 (0)
Conner received some legitimate votes this week from team managers I will not name. I would estimate his actual earned spot would be somewhere around 4th or 5th place. He’s got a good team on paper but we’ve yet to see whether being iced out by the rest of the league will affect his ability to make moves. Conner will take on #1 Chad in Week 2.
Defensive League Power Rankings (via FantasyPros)
| RANK | TEAM | SCORE |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Special Teams | 100 |
| 2 | Sorry Not Sorrys | 91 |
| 3 | Foghorn Defender | 78 |
| 4 | Team 8’s Rural Boiz | 76 |
| 5 | Miller’s Mavericks | 75 |
| 6 | Podcast Placers | 67 |
| 7 | Defensive Remotes | 53 |
| 8 | Clankers Clackos | 39 |
